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Sucking at life but #Queening

Unfortunately I am the person who can never make a decision right off. I have so many ideas and thoughts running through my head and there is never just one option. Why are there always so many options? There are options for everything and it kind of freaks me out. I am that person standing at the crossroad with basically 3 other directions to go besides the one you came from. Yeah that is where I am in life right now. I want to go everywhere and do everything besides what I have already done. At least going back is not an option and neither is staying where I am... I have to decide on something at sometime.

Even the greatest of leaders suffer from indecision. I am afraid that my indecisiveness might lead into inaction which is unacceptable on any front. That is why I impulse decide usually- due to indecisiveness... just make a decision already! Done.

So what is it that I cannot make a decision on? Well right now... this living situation of mine. It's time to move from my apartment... staying is not an option I have to leave this apartment or I am going to go crazy. So, yes I have done some apartment searching here in my city and I know where I would like to move but then it pops in my head that I might want to move to a totally different city maybe even state! Wow really, a whole "nother" state.... yeah. So then there is the idea of what state or city would I move to... there are 3 options there, then questions about cost of living and where would I move there. After sleeping on it, I am ready to leave DFW, my family and friends are here but why not? I have the flexibility to move as far as work is concerned and if you do move to a new town just move downtown to stay on the safe side right? But now is the issue of when... Novemeber is entirely to soon to up and move states, but July is not- so do I sign a 9 month lease here and suffer through the horrible reception and view for another 9months or do I move to a better, new aparmtnent for 9months or another year and plan my big move then.... As I am writing the 2nd option is more appealing to me... Move and then MOVE.... so maybe there my answer is.

Then there is the decision of dating again... so I am single right... and I want a relationship right... but when do I want this relationship? It is too soon? I am thinking/feeling it is but I am also feeling I need to get back out there and then when I do I am like NO... I do not want to date, I do not want to talk on the phone, I do not care about your hopes and dreams and aspirations in life or past relationships...leave me alone... I roll my eyes anytime someone who is interested in me that I gave my number to calls or text me lol Not the behavior of someone looking to date....but then I want to be married and have that companionship... like at this point I would be good if my parents picked him for me and it was an arranged marriage... I don't want to date is my decision. Can I just have a male companion to watch basketball with me, buy me a couple of drinks and talk about life with and pick out my Jordan's or Nike's, someone who could care less that I  floss/pick/suck at my teeth like every 3 minutes thats it. I don't want sex, I don't wanna meet your family or friends, you dont have to buy me dinner-I just want to chill with testosterone every now and then. Where is that?

Then there is the travel issue. I have this friend.. well ex who decided to invite me to Abu Dhabi, mind you this is a trip me and my girls been talking around for about a year now... but I am sort of tired of girls trips... but a trip with an ex might be disastrous or spectacular won't know until I take it... so I said yes... and of course posted it to social media about the invite and got backlash from my girls like "bihhhh thats supposed to be for us for my 30th" I am like let's all go now... one big happy group and I took over his trip in like 2 minutes... I do that too... it's a bad habit, oldest child syndrome... Yes I am the boss of you. So as far as we are concerned right now, I am going to Abu Dhabi one way or another... girls trip or trip with the ex...or everybody! decision done.

2016 will be great! Mexico cruise, Vancouver, Abu Dhabi, moving somewhere and who knows what else God has in store for me! #Queening


Now what to eat for breakfast... oatmeal or banana and rice cakes... idk I am hungry though... *sips water* Pop Tarts it is lol
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