Life from my view

Insecure on HBO has become somewhat of my ode to 2014/2015. IF this was not my life..... LITERALLY I was like Issa Rae if you do not get out of my house- like were there video cameras in my past apartment? Needless to say I am eagerly awaiting Season 2. So what are the parallels you may ask. Let's see. 20 something year old, black female, college graduate, dating, wanting marriage eventually, great friends, introvert/extrovert, talented in so many ways, super goofy, can be the life of the party,  somewhat finding myself, not sure who I am in love with or what love really is. Yeah that was me. And I had my own real life Lawrence. My friends and I laugh at it now but yeah my real life Lawrence was full of potential, stubborn, prideful, super smart, well educated, handsome, and just there on my couch just like Lawrence. He was unemployed in search of Gold but too prideful to say yes to entry level positions all while being hot and cold when it came to our "situationship&quo

My goodness! 2017 is upon us and I have been slacking on this blog thing. I have good reasoning for that though. Grad school, new job, new man just new life all together has been keeping me occupied and pressed for time. This year has been a great one! I set out on a journey, finished some projects, started some others and now I am ready for the next chapter in my life. Let us give me a hand clap for a 3.8GPA in grad school 12 credit hours down all A's..... got my mojo back. Trip wise- I went to the Grand Canyon, took my sister on her first plane ride and locomotive ride- check us out. I also went on my first cruise with the family- check us out- Carnival Freedom!!! Anddd.. Chantel's got a man at home (channeling my inner 90's song list) Chante Moore.... And he's so good to me!  That was unexpected-  The holidays this year have been blissfully wonderful. The entire family know

I have wrote and deleted and wrote and deleted. It has been a while but I have been on my grind for work, school and cultivating a new relationship. Kind of in my feelings today. Not sure why. Loving my job, in a good place mentally, kind of stagnant physically but that is an ongoing process but all in all life as it is- is good. I am scared of the feelings. I am scared of falling off of the ledge again and being hurt. But the journey is so worth it. Falling in love is what life is about whether it is falling in love with a person or your lifes passion. Love is worth every text message, every argument, every fear, every laugh. I am in this new place and it is scary for me. I know what it is like to be in love and it be unrequited- but I have no clue what its like to be loved and be in love at the same time. It is new territory for me and the LOVE word- let me not. I am so afraid to use that loosely. His question to me- are you happy? I am so for now I will enjoy the journey and tr

This weekend I had the joy and honor of hosting the Launch Party for "ITM" Dallas. This initiative is a mentoring program geared towards young minority males to provide them with an outlet to be themselves and find their purpose in life. This program is not like others where I call you 1x week and maybe show up to a few games. It is about giving and receiving what you need to succeed.  The premise of the program is to not only mentor young men but for those same young men to then become mentors for a lifetime. The level of accountability is unsurpassed. As a mentee- I can mess up and maybe slack on my goals a little because someone (my mentor) is there to guide me, but once I become a mentor- someone else is now depending on me to be their guide and I now have a true empathy and understanding for their plight as a mentee- because I was there. It is genius. Consistency is the goal and we are committed to changing the world- 1 life at a time. Successful launch party on 10

This new experience is so refreshing. To be on a journey to find God and he bless you with someone to share in that journey with you. Of course if you read any of my past post- you know that my last two relationships were not ideal but that they taught me a lot and forced me to take a long hard look at who I was and who I wanted to be and I have been on this self discovery journey sometimes a little low but always pulling through. This celibacy journey has really impacted my life in ways I never imagined and now to be the inspiration for those close to me to pursue celibacy and real relationships I am overjoyed and humbled. I am now leading others in the right direction just by living my life the way God wants me to. The peace of mind I have, clear focus- I did not know that I could be so interested in someone without sex....I always saw sex as the means to express my love to someone but its so much deeper than that. Until now- making the conscious decision to wait until

When its new and refreshing Smiling while texting Foregoing my beauty rest to talk Occupying my mind Making time Feeling safe It's Different Genuine You think you in Alicia Keys early 2000's music videos Feeling 15 Transparent Possibilities Confidence When It Just Might Be...REAL

Family vacay time LOL yep up the street in Flint, TX. 10 miles outside of Tyler, TX. So my parents are a part of the generation that actually bought timeshares... yeah smart right- well this time it kind of - sort of paid off. We got to stay free of charge- just used the accumulated points. Outside of horrible customer service from the Holiday Inn staff- all in all I had a wonderful time with my family. My siblings and I had fun messing with each other and making useless snap chat post, it was relaxing- one of the best naps in life on Saturday and I went a full day without phone service due to my case blocking reception in the woods- weird.  Here a few snaps of our time in Flint. So if you just want to get away from all the noise of the city- but not be too far- visit Flint, take a boat out on to Lake Palestine, stay a night- get some quiet time. #Texasgirlsdoitbetter in honor of this awesome Olympic season we have had....I digress

Was not sure what to title this particular post. So many new things and blessings happening in my life right now. For starters let me say God has really been pouring into my life these past 2 months alone and I can truly say that I tried him. Now-- he is trying me lol. I made 1 year on my trek to celibacy Aug 3, 2016!! It was a struggle, I cried a lot and I had to dig deep in order to get to the root of why I even started having sex before marriage. Past the surface self esteem stuff and actually come to grips with the fact that I was lost. I knew so much and so little at the same time. Wanting to be loved, not knowing what it truly was or how to properly give it. So year 1- done! The level of growth and being able to see these guys for what they are right then and there has truly saved me some time and energy. A (BOY) and I emphasize boy because of his mindset tried for several months to invite himself to my place of residence after I clearly stated my stance on celibacy and even

Let me start by saying- wonderful location. In the heart of Oak Cliff- Bishop Arts District- very charming and right by another specialty restaurant VH Pho House so no competition there. Either you want something fried or you want soup.. This review will definitely be my invitation for people to come back into and support Oak Cliff. With all of the gentrification going on- I am definitely taking part in enjoying what my hometown has to offer. Oak Cliff has been known for far too long for negativity; crime, AIDS epidemic and a struggling school district- but no longer. We are making some changes and I am here for it.   The 30-seat dining room is a cozy blend of homegrown (local staff, one page menu with explanation of ingredients (I need that)) and rustic modern (eclectic drink menu, main street patio seating, dallas trolley stop). You can also eat at the 4 seat bar with direct views of the kitchen staff and the stove. Jonathan's menu is by-the-book southern. Grits and oatmea

It's been a while I know!! Just had a lot going on in July. Updates coming soon. However, I wanted to talk about this discovery I made in finding out that when it comes to dating- GUESS WHAT girls the guys are just as scared as we are!!! I did not fully realize though until this weekend. Backstory: I have a good friend  with whom I hang out with all the time. She has a God brother with whom she is really close with and she always tries to fix him up with people. So I would say the past 3 months- since her birthday in May- we all have been hanging really tight. Her birthday, his birthday, my birthday, family functions, summertime fun- just hanging. The attraction was there- conversations happened- laughs- grocery store runs and he even cooked for me (and my 8 visitors) at 3am... so I am like hey he kinda cute, showing interest etc. I am an awesome tease/flirt....its the afterwards actions and conversations that I fail out i.e the real relationship- but I digress. So I am showi

There was a time when my best friend and I- just couldn't seem to see eye to eye. We chose our paths as separate as they were... but when we are together all of that.... what is it worth... So here is another poem I wrote long, long. long ago- to my best friend. It did not have a title.. but now I will create one.                                                                 Latitia Old and good friends share a piece of passion, pain and pleasure that no one else, not even family can begin to know or treasure. It's as if a secret room- held their private store And every time they met they escaped through a secret door. It doesn't matter if they speak each day or if years and years go by before they have much to say. The moment that they meet it is like magic happens It's all there- the moments, the tears, likes and the shared fears The memories of the fiercest loyalty and the responsibility to be there in times of need The gratitude in having a true fri

So while cleaning out my infamous car trunk... I found an old tablet with a couple of poems I wrote for my Sabbath school class back in 2002. I had a little bit of skill..hope you enjoy.                                 Who Was There? When The Clouds Hang Low and You Can Hardly See The Road Just Thought You Should Know, God Is Always In Control If You Take The Time, time to realize... Who Who was there to wipe the tears away? Who was there when you didn't know your way? or what to say? Who told you to pray? Was it your family or your friends? Neither... you say? Then who was there? It Was He Who Sticks Closer Thank a Brother He Knows The Secrets hid deep in your heart If they still ponder upon who was there.... Be sure to tell them that it was he who died upon the cross Just to save those who should be lost. He, Jesus was there.                                   The Life Unknown Lives are stories that we read each day Some we comprehend, others we throw a

I know that I am about 2 weeks late... but I am working full time and pursuing a Master's so be patient! Miss USA 2016  is exponentially several degrees above awesome. Let us take a moment to discuss what makes her awesome. 1. She is Black- unapologetic. Most definitely oozing #BlackGirlMagic the definition of #BlackExcellence and that melanin is definitely popping. I wonder what color she wears> definitely not any shade that Neutorgena offers (No Shade) but not everyone has cool, orange or yellow undertones.... some of US have prominent red undertones!!! I digress.... Handclap to the makeup artist and creators out there that cater to ALL SHADES of BLACK. 2. Member of the US Army- Patriot and passionate about it. Some of my people are not the most supportive of African Americans fighting for a country that chose to enslave and continues to mentally enslave us as a people. My goodness! Cut the girl some slack- she has chosen to sacrifice her life for others- which is t

Today I had the pleasure of visiting a hidden gem in the heart of Oak Cliff, TX (yes a song did come to mind... but I shall spare thee) So... went to a Complimentary Wine Tasting that was advertised via FB and it was great! Found a new hangout. Dallas is not known for it's wine or anything so whenever we get a new wine bar it is like a BIG DEAL. Cibo Divino Market Place is my new favorite place. They have incorporated a few of my favorite things. Wine, Pizza and Coffee!! I was in heaven and despite the unrelenting Texas rains I ventured out and discovered a few great wines. Thirsty Thursday was a success! Picked up a wonderful Sicilian Red Blend and watched NBA Finals Game 1 at my best friends awesome downtown apartment. Successful day all in all. Kehlani on the playlist, Kyrie playing ball... wine in the glass, homework on the screen- #Get'erDONE I was also able to sample a Chardonnay and Petite Syrah. They also had descriptions of some wines on the display to help the bab

Change is inevitable. Change is hard. Change is necessary. In order to grow there are some changes that go on... some are subtle others are drastic! This past year has been trans-formative for me. Letting go of some things and some people that I thought would be in my life for good. But this particular post is not about those people or the situations that led to them being banned from my life. This post is about me realizing that I grew. Growing is a funny thing in both the natural and spiritual realms. When you are younger you do not realize when the growth spurt happens until you try on your favorite pants or shirt and it doesn't quite fit anymore. Same in the spiritual- you do not know until you have to try a situation on. So my growth occurred in the area that I thought I was weak in. I have always been the type to allow 2nd and 3rd chances and allowed people to linger on a lot longer than they should have. Thinking on it, these same people are the ones who have an ex

I feel like the past two weeks I have been in the twilight zone or some form of a purgatory if it really existed. I have been viewing my own life as an outsider- seeing myself in another light not filtered through Juno (my favorite IG filter lol) Come With Me (Hail Mary) lol and see a day in the life of me and my thoughts and my reality I love song references- I swear I can have a conversation in song- every three words remind me of a song... (my randomness) Grandparents- I love mine and my grandmother has both dementia and Alzheimer's- it hurts- she will one day leave me and I have to come to that slowly as her mind and spirit drift away. So lively she was always banging pots or at the mall shopping for us. Now her days waste away with her trying to remember what she thought she forgot to remember- but it is called life and each time I see her I am reminded of how short and brief it is. Married, children, homes, cars, accounts, church, friends, money, fun- what is it to her

So here we are May 3, 2016 and it dawns on me. The day. We also have Facebook to thank us for our ever so fond greatest memories, moments and post "On This Day" a lifetime ago. So I admit- I thought about him today- why is the date forever etched in my mind... hopefully in 2 years time it won't be but for the moment it is. The day he sat in my room and asked if I was ready to embark on this unknown journey of us and I said yes. Well here we are a WHOLE year later and things are not quite what I imagined they would be. And that is OK. However I did want to share some of my past FB post that spurred me to say that May 3, 2016 will be different from my other May 3rd's. So let's take a journey.... May 3, 2011 "I am giving up on dating... its too stressful and cost too much I would rather go work out and that's not fun" Today: I went for a 3 mile run that I thoroughly enjoyed- changed, but I have given up on dating due to the same reasoning men

She told me something was missing. Not a spark or a twinkle Not a light or a star Not a fire or an ember My magic was missing. The very thing that allowed me to create the me I wanted to be, had long gone missing He took it, I said, and I want it back! I want it all back. Slowly she felt it returning- but she had to figure how to use it again. Never again would she let someone steal her magic. Never again would she freely give of her magic. Never again would she take for granted the magic that was given to her as her prized possession. And when she said it- she felt it- the magic she once knew had returned and oh how it had grew. It was undeniable, unimaginable- she realized that the magic was her, she had never left- she had only forgotten due to his curse. She realized what she had forgotten; she had placed her magic safely on a shelf far, far away from what she called her heart. Hidden from all others, even herself- because she was too weak to control it

So do not judge me this go around... but my choice in music is sort of a good indicator of where I am in life attitude wise and this playlist will probably make you believe that I am a 15 year old girl obsessed with Pop culture lol but hey I am in a good place right now lol Side Note: Still listen to my classical music every night... so there I am still a grown up  Heartbreaker: Justin Bieber Work From Home: 5th Harmony Wild Things: Alessia Carr No: Meagan Trainor Work: Rihanna Collide: Justine Skye Captivated: Lawrence Flowers Brand New Me: Alicia Keys Emotion: Destiny's Child Let It Go: Chonique Sneed Exchange: Bryson Tiller All That Matters: Justin Bieber Show Me Your Face: William McDowell Cut It: O.T Genasis Indigo: Sammie At Your Name: Phil Wickman You Need Me: Jacques Picture Me Rollin: Chris Brown Formation:Beyonce Hollow: Tori Kelly Love Again: Ethan Farmer Understanding: Xscape Runnin: Kehlani Say It: Tori Lanez Burnin UP: Jessie J Mind over

Finding yourself is a wonderful experience. Realizing who you are- it feels  like a great awakening! It  is freeing and challenging at the same time. Breaking chains or habits that have become second nature to you is not an easy feat. We all have things that we wish we could change about ourselves at some point and time. My question now is why not. Why not chase your dreams? Why not move? Why not fall in love? Why not be who you were purposed to be? In life- things get in the way- it is called life. How you deal with those distractions will determine how far along you get on this journey. It really hurt me to find out that Kehlani (one of my fav artist right now) attempted suicide. I pondered thinking WOW- what was so bad that she wanted to end it all. Here she is this gorgeous, talented, free spirit- Grammy nominated artist- girlfriend to a man worth 90mil- who is tall enough and cute enough- who displays his love for her. Why? your life seems to be what any 20 year old would DREAM

So I am up doing some grass roots research into pursuing some passions of mine... hair and fashion.  While texting a guy who is interested in me. And it hit me. I am ready to date again! Finally. Lordt I thought I was going to be stuck in that negative stage forever! By the way the title of this post is inspired by a podcast that I listened to- that helped get me through entitled: Single But READY.. check it out it is eye opening. So if you read some of my post from the August/September period you will note the harping of the breakup and my efforts to rebound date. Well I never wrote about my perspective of trying to rebound date. Let us just say it was horrible. I truly do not recommend trying to rebound date, while being celibate and on the tail ends of a heartbreak... Nothing good comes from Nazareth right? HA.. ok. Basically as I sat here thinking back to that time period I was sooo negative. Negative Nancy welcome to the party. These guys were showing genuine interest in me an

Recently I have been on my journey of discovery and paying more attention to me, my thoughts, my actions, my likes, my strengths, areas of improvement etc. Initially after "the breakup" I noted to self that my fear of rejection led me to make some foolish decisions and in turn I became someone I did not recognize. I had always known that I suffered slightly from some sort of fear of rejection and/or abandonment- which is why it took me forever to become close with anyone intimately where they knew my good and bad. I feared that they would not like "That ME" or that they would eventually leave me. These fears of rejection and abandonment stemmed from childhood experiences where I felt like I never quite made it into fitting in... I was always too something. Too tall, too dark, too skinny, too fat, too smart, too nice---- tooo tooo tooo I never was just  right for anything. 5 years old going to gymnastics class- which I thoroughly enjoyed and had begun to excel in