As I sit here in DFW international airport reading "Don't Settle For Safe" by Sarah Jakes Roberts, I am compelled to write on the importance of setting boundaries.
Boundaries keep us safe. Safety is a primary foundational component of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Basically, we need boundaries at our core in order to survive.
Relationships are one of the hardest areas of our lives to create and maintain boundaries. Why is this? Our need for acceptance tugs at our inner being to disregard the natural boundaries that our conscience created for us. Whatever it may be- friends, significant others, parents or siblings we want to be accepted. But at what cost do we pursue acceptance?
As I have grown and matured in all things called life, I realized that I had created boundaries that were too loose as well as disregarded others all together. I had to realign myself to think in terms of boundaries when approaching any situation.
Here are a few of the questions I asked myself during that realignment stage.
1. Is this thing or person worth my inner peace, energy or time?
If it's no.... Leave it alone
2. If you answered yes, what time frame? How will you measure failure or success of this interaction?
If it fails.... Leave it alone
3. It succeeded so what's next?
These questions allow you to keep your boundaries at the forefront so that at any moment you can say you know what this is not working- I am indebted to myself to cut this off right here and now.
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