Life from my view

Change is inevitable. Change is hard. Change is necessary. In order to grow there are some changes that go on... some are subtle others are drastic! This past year has been trans-formative for me. Letting go of some things and some people that I thought would be in my life for good. But this particular post is not about those people or the situations that led to them being banned from my life. This post is about me realizing that I grew. Growing is a funny thing in both the natural and spiritual realms. When you are younger you do not realize when the growth spurt happens until you try on your favorite pants or shirt and it doesn't quite fit anymore. Same in the spiritual- you do not know until you have to try a situation on. So my growth occurred in the area that I thought I was weak in. I have always been the type to allow 2nd and 3rd chances and allowed people to linger on a lot longer than they should have. Thinking on it, these same people are the ones who have an ex...

I feel like the past two weeks I have been in the twilight zone or some form of a purgatory if it really existed. I have been viewing my own life as an outsider- seeing myself in another light not filtered through Juno (my favorite IG filter lol) Come With Me (Hail Mary) lol and see a day in the life of me and my thoughts and my reality I love song references- I swear I can have a conversation in song- every three words remind me of a song... (my randomness) Grandparents- I love mine and my grandmother has both dementia and Alzheimer's- it hurts- she will one day leave me and I have to come to that slowly as her mind and spirit drift away. So lively she was always banging pots or at the mall shopping for us. Now her days waste away with her trying to remember what she thought she forgot to remember- but it is called life and each time I see her I am reminded of how short and brief it is. Married, children, homes, cars, accounts, church, friends, money, fun- what is it to her ...

As promised- I wanted to share a few pictures with you all of the Valentine's Bash- hosted by yours truly this weekend for the children.. It was a success and we raised the funds needed to aid them in their next sponsored event. Here you go!!

Yesterday evening, I had the priveledge of attending a tea party hosted by  a former colleague of mine. I attended of course in all my pomp and priss- nothing less expected of myself. What truly pleased me about this tea party was the affirmation I received from women of all walks all life, races and ages that were saying the exact things that I have been saying to myself through my postings. The affirmation that stood out the most was the topic of "Self Love" how they came to finally love themselves after 20, 30, 50 years and how that love of themselves and total surrender unto Christ allowed them to finally see the good in the world and in others and to finally be loved. I had a one off conversation with a young lady who would probably be 10 years my senior and to see that we are and were so alike when it comes to relationships was refreshing. She was a young, single parent who stayed in a toxic relationship for far too long and once she finally ended it- she was not look...

We have the power to speak both death or life into not only ourselves but those around us.  Starting today, I am changing my vocabulary and train of thought. I will speak life into myself and those around me. I am loved, I am beautiful, I am everything and anything I choose to be. I own my future. I am tired of questioning my relationships while realizing I was in those situations due to my own lack of faith or lack of belief in something different. Complacency breeds failure. This move has made me realize that I can do whatever I put my mind to and that those who truly belong in your life will come along for the ride. Reminiscing on loves past will not allow me to move forward with anything or anyone new. Not that I want to jump right into anything but I realized that I am much happier when my focus is on self and not them. Yes, learn from all things gone wrong in the past... but also reflect on what went right. Who have you become? Did the situation change you for the better? H...

So it is week one of my Jenny Craig... the food is good but mannn I still be hungry. My best friend and I are on a mission though to get healthy and happy and this is the first step in that journey. So far so good.... I have not got on a scale yet but hey I feel better and more energized and I am making a conscious decision to change my life. When we go to Vancouver in March we gone be cute!! We are always on point but you know confidence level will be on 150. Plus we gotta be in shape being that we will be taking the naturistic approach such as bike riding and hiking. Oh yeah.... finally moved and loving my new place... it is purely me... back to being my sanctuary, my place to get away from all the other stuff. On to what this post is truly about. So, I am somewhat back on the dating scene and God I did not realize how being in tune with yourself can open your eyes to everything! the past, present and future. My mother has always told me that it would take a VERY strong and patie...

#TheStruggleIsReal Common enough saying that goes around to stress the dismay you have about a certain situation in your waking life. Frederick Douglas is quoted in saying" Without struggle there can be no progress." Why this choice today... Struggle.... why can we not just coast along and live life? Always some hard road up ahead or hard choice to make. While watching Lost on netflix.... yes I know its like 10 years old but I have never watched it all the way through.... So while watching Lost- the episode where Charlie wants his drugs back from Locke and is having a hard time withdrawing they come across a moth cocoon. Locke explains to Charlie that just like butterflies the moth goes through a similar process. However, the moth is rarely recognized for its efforts- yes the butterfly is beautiful but the moth is faster, stronger, it spins silk and is more resilient. Locke goes on to point out that the small hole in the cocoon is how the moth will get out- but it mus...

AH YES, BLACK WOMEN DATING WHITE MEN. WELL, MAYBE I WILL HAVE A LITTLE EXPERIENCE WITH THIS SOONER RATHER THAN LATER. EVE FOUND HER PRINCE CHARMING..... FIRST, I HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY DATED OUTSIDE MY RACE, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND EVEN ENTERTAINED CONVERSATIONS ABOUT IT, BUT NEVER FOLLOWED THROUGH BUT WHY NOT? YOU ASK........ IT JUST SEEMED WEIRD, THEY ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT "NORMAL BLACK PEOPLE STUFF." I THOUGHT, AND STILL DO THINK THAT WE WILL NOT HAVE THE SAME INTEREST SUCH AS MUSIC, MOVIES, FOOD AND LIFE IN GENERAL. WILL HE EAT RUDY'S CHICKEN? HOW DOES HE MAKE KOOL-AID? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO LUTHER VANDROSS IS? ARE HIS PARENTS RACIST? QUESTION I WOULD HATE TO HAVE AN ANSWER TO IF THEY WERE. WITH THE CURRENT SOCIAL CLIMATE... WILL I BE PERCEIVED AS A TRAITOR? I HAVE NEVER CARED WHAT OTHERS THOUGHT OF ME, WON'T START NOW. SO WHY START NOW? WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU EVEN TRY AND DATE A WHITE GUY GIRL? WELL TO ANSWER YOU, WHY NOT? WE SAY WE LOVE LEAR...

In life, you have to take the pace that love goes. You don't force it. You just don't force love, you don't force falling in love, you don't force being in love - you just become. I don't know how to say that in English, but you just feel it. Juan Pablo Galavis Life is never what you expect it to be. I caught myself this week being the girl I always have been, the hopeless romantic..... Just how hopeless am I? A Walk to Remember, I cry the entire movie- not because she dies- beacause he loves her UNCONDITIONALLY. I cry so hard I get a headache. I digress.  What happened? I had a bad day and I needed a drink, an outlet of some kind. Of course on these type of days none of my friends are ever available. Usually, I just curl up, cry it out, drink wine and eat pizza.  Not this day, I went to Marianos and had a drink by myself and cried a bit lol. Drinks were good and should have been for 11buck a pop! But then, he, my prince charming came to my aid.  He had so man...

What comes to mind when I think of LOVE... well first Diggy Simmons song you're my 4 letter word (Jamming) Love is new for me, not really, but really. I am ready for the all encompassing, all enduring love. Life is not always perfect but I feel that it can and will last forever. We hear so many opinions on what love should look like and how it should feel but it is a personal battle. I want committment, compassion, endurance, faith, hope, knowledge, communication and acceptance. I am so ready to promise my all, to feel as though I am that person- my other half. I know what it is to be in like, to be in lust- but I have never given my ALL to one person. I know myself and I have always held back a portion of myself for fear of failing at love. At 25 I am now ready to hand it all over and say here I am. What keeps me from loving? Fear. Why am I scared? I have no idea. So today, I am jumping head first, maybe feet first- well it does not matter. I am jumping all in- into LOVE. ...

This quote is hanging in my living room right now as a reminder to myself that I am the creator of my own destiny. God gave us choices and it is up to me to decide what I will do with my life. We have so many self help books, dvd's, podcast and everything else that we forget to look within. When we step away from our phones, reality tv, and social media we will then be able to focus on the real that is within us. We lose ourselves to relationships, careers, education and life in general. It is time to start looking within for all that you need without. I once told a friend that she had to find herself outside of all the titles- find herself without being a daughter, sister, mom, friend, girlfriend- who are YOU and you alone? What is life? Who decides? Life is what you make it! We have a saying now that says " oh these shoes are giving me life" or "this food is giving me life." Life for me is trying to live holy, traveling, helping others, making money, havin...

The Problem.... It is hard to let go of something you have had for so long. The saying goes, " If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were." But what time frame is it that we are supposed to stick to and how long do you wait on someone who may not even love you?   I have read over a zillion articles, magazines and blogs in regards to relationships and how to know they love you, what to do to keep a man, how to please him and the list can go on and on..... For some some reason in the back of my mind I keep saying that I will know when it is real. But will I? So many questions that go unanswered, but there comes a point in time that you must realize that you are in this life for yourself- make the most of it.I am learning to accept the things I cannot change and to change those which I can. I cannot continue to wait on a love that only exist half way.  So what is your plan you say? The Plan.... Change the situation....