Yesterday evening, I had the priveledge of attending a tea party hosted by a former colleague of mine. I attended of course in all my pomp and priss- nothing less expected of myself. What truly pleased me about this tea party was the affirmation I received from women of all walks all life, races and ages that were saying the exact things that I have been saying to myself through my postings.
The affirmation that stood out the most was the topic of "Self Love" how they came to finally love themselves after 20, 30, 50 years and how that love of themselves and total surrender unto Christ allowed them to finally see the good in the world and in others and to finally be loved. I had a one off conversation with a young lady who would probably be 10 years my senior and to see that we are and were so alike when it comes to relationships was refreshing. She was a young, single parent who stayed in a toxic relationship for far too long and once she finally ended it- she was not looking to connect with anyone- she had accepted her lot in life that she was probably going to be a single mom forever. She had done well for herself independently and although she would have loved to have been married by then she was not pushing the issue. One night while out with friends at a local bar, having a fun time and avoiding all suitors- one came to speak to her and they exchanged info and as cold and closed off as she was he continued to pursue. I was like that is where I am now. Do not talk to me, do not show interest- I am too busy focusing on loving myself. So her journey affirmed for me that hope is still alive in regards to a relationship- but do not allow that to consume all of me- focus on loving self and someone will see that love and will want to share in loving you. I am loving me- waiting and working.
Another affirmation that hit close to home for me was total surrender and faith in God to do what you have asked of him. We are heirs of God, the sons and daughters of the most high. He has already promised us that if we ask, without wavering, and in faith of Christ Jesus- he will give it to us. We are his children! Why would he deny us any good thing!? However, we must first make the decision to surrender every aspect of our life over to him and I admit I doubted him before in regards to a relationship. I have witnessed so many bad marriages that claimed to have been anchored and founded upon the leadership of Christ that I was like I don't want that- I will find mine on my own. Where has that gotten me? Heartbroken and confused. There I was attempting to make a relationship from my fragmented pieces of what I thought I was and who I wanted to be. I trusted God with everything else in my life from school, to job situations, to traveling grace to choosing where I live and where I move. But when it came to providing me with a relationship I was like ummmm your track record from where I stand God looks few and far in between.
Divorce rate at 50%, adultery is the norm and not to mention those new marriages that don't even make a year. I am skeptical and I do not believe you can do it.... So I am going to do it on my own. I am going to make online profiles and market myself because I probably have a better chance than the all knowing God. Right? Nope, wrong! Dead Wrong! I got myself into some situations that I wish never would have started, can I just go back to the day before we met and do it all over again. Lesson Learned. So now I am surrendering every aspect of my life, including relationships-over to God. He knows the desires of my heart, my wants and my needs. I truly have faith that whoever he has for me will be EVERYTHING! So now I wait and work. Work on self. I have a peace that I know only came from God and right now I feel invincible because he has shown me his power and what he can and will do for those who truly love and trust him. My turn is coming. I am waiting and working.
The affirmation that stood out the most was the topic of "Self Love" how they came to finally love themselves after 20, 30, 50 years and how that love of themselves and total surrender unto Christ allowed them to finally see the good in the world and in others and to finally be loved. I had a one off conversation with a young lady who would probably be 10 years my senior and to see that we are and were so alike when it comes to relationships was refreshing. She was a young, single parent who stayed in a toxic relationship for far too long and once she finally ended it- she was not looking to connect with anyone- she had accepted her lot in life that she was probably going to be a single mom forever. She had done well for herself independently and although she would have loved to have been married by then she was not pushing the issue. One night while out with friends at a local bar, having a fun time and avoiding all suitors- one came to speak to her and they exchanged info and as cold and closed off as she was he continued to pursue. I was like that is where I am now. Do not talk to me, do not show interest- I am too busy focusing on loving myself. So her journey affirmed for me that hope is still alive in regards to a relationship- but do not allow that to consume all of me- focus on loving self and someone will see that love and will want to share in loving you. I am loving me- waiting and working.
Another affirmation that hit close to home for me was total surrender and faith in God to do what you have asked of him. We are heirs of God, the sons and daughters of the most high. He has already promised us that if we ask, without wavering, and in faith of Christ Jesus- he will give it to us. We are his children! Why would he deny us any good thing!? However, we must first make the decision to surrender every aspect of our life over to him and I admit I doubted him before in regards to a relationship. I have witnessed so many bad marriages that claimed to have been anchored and founded upon the leadership of Christ that I was like I don't want that- I will find mine on my own. Where has that gotten me? Heartbroken and confused. There I was attempting to make a relationship from my fragmented pieces of what I thought I was and who I wanted to be. I trusted God with everything else in my life from school, to job situations, to traveling grace to choosing where I live and where I move. But when it came to providing me with a relationship I was like ummmm your track record from where I stand God looks few and far in between.
Divorce rate at 50%, adultery is the norm and not to mention those new marriages that don't even make a year. I am skeptical and I do not believe you can do it.... So I am going to do it on my own. I am going to make online profiles and market myself because I probably have a better chance than the all knowing God. Right? Nope, wrong! Dead Wrong! I got myself into some situations that I wish never would have started, can I just go back to the day before we met and do it all over again. Lesson Learned. So now I am surrendering every aspect of my life, including relationships-over to God. He knows the desires of my heart, my wants and my needs. I truly have faith that whoever he has for me will be EVERYTHING! So now I wait and work. Work on self. I have a peace that I know only came from God and right now I feel invincible because he has shown me his power and what he can and will do for those who truly love and trust him. My turn is coming. I am waiting and working.
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