Life from my view

Insecure on HBO has become somewhat of my ode to 2014/2015. IF this was not my life..... LITERALLY I was like Issa Rae if you do not get out of my house- like were there video cameras in my past apartment? Needless to say I am eagerly awaiting Season 2. So what are the parallels you may ask. Let's see. 20 something year old, black female, college graduate, dating, wanting marriage eventually, great friends, introvert/extrovert, talented in so many ways, super goofy, can be the life of the party,  somewhat finding myself, not sure who I am in love with or what love really is. Yeah that was me. And I had my own real life Lawrence. My friends and I laugh at it now but yeah my real life Lawrence was full of potential, stubborn, prideful, super smart, well educated, handsome, and just there on my couch just like Lawrence. He was unemployed in search of Gold but too prideful to say yes to entry level positions all while being hot and cold when it came to our "situationship...

I have wrote and deleted and wrote and deleted. It has been a while but I have been on my grind for work, school and cultivating a new relationship. Kind of in my feelings today. Not sure why. Loving my job, in a good place mentally, kind of stagnant physically but that is an ongoing process but all in all life as it is- is good. I am scared of the feelings. I am scared of falling off of the ledge again and being hurt. But the journey is so worth it. Falling in love is what life is about whether it is falling in love with a person or your lifes passion. Love is worth every text message, every argument, every fear, every laugh. I am in this new place and it is scary for me. I know what it is like to be in love and it be unrequited- but I have no clue what its like to be loved and be in love at the same time. It is new territory for me and the LOVE word- let me not. I am so afraid to use that loosely. His question to me- are you happy? I am so for now I will enjoy the journey and tr...

This new experience is so refreshing. To be on a journey to find God and he bless you with someone to share in that journey with you. Of course if you read any of my past post- you know that my last two relationships were not ideal but that they taught me a lot and forced me to take a long hard look at who I was and who I wanted to be and I have been on this self discovery journey sometimes a little low but always pulling through. This celibacy journey has really impacted my life in ways I never imagined and now to be the inspiration for those close to me to pursue celibacy and real relationships I am overjoyed and humbled. I am now leading others in the right direction just by living my life the way God wants me to. The peace of mind I have, clear focus- I did not know that I could be so interested in someone without sex....I always saw sex as the means to express my love to someone but its so much deeper than that. Until now- making the conscious decision to wait until...

Flew into Seattle- stayed for a night and drove to Vancouver. Wonderful trip! Very freeing for my mind and spirit. Places we ate: Zeeks Pizza- Seattle Rolls Kitchen- Sushi Vancouver Fat Burger- Yaletown Serious Pie- Seattle Ribs- Korean BBQ El Furniture Warehouse- Whistler Village (The donuts OMG) Grassroots Pizza- Whistler Village Nature is awesome- it constantly reminds me of God's greatness. The level of imagination, how everything works together, the beauty, the colors, the complexity and simplicity- seeing mountains up close and REAL SNOW! I am Texas born and bred so snow is a figment of our imagination we get slushed ice lol. Granville Island- wonderful shopping!! Cascadia soaps(purchased) made with goats milk and oils I bought like 5 bars! I love soap- weird...The fresh fudge, unwaxed apples! I was in market heaven. Capilano Suspension Bridge: AHHHHH I crossed it... I was totally scared going across but I looked down and the view was breathtaking. I wante...

Update: I completed my 24 hours of solitude- which according to my friends is more than enough time to get over a breakup lol.  Upon completion- I have since ventured into the world of happy hours! Called up one of my sorors headed and headed to Plano. I figured that if I am to meet someone I must get out there. So I did.  Had a good time, not too much pressure on myself and just chilled out, did not try too hard and voila! 2 numbers and a possible date.   This morning while deciding to write this particular blog... I ran across a recent article about dating in dallas. It was quite true and entertaining. We have limited date night options besides eating- there are no beaches, mountains or lush green areas. Since we have to eat- most restaurants offer you the down home, southern fried, BBQ sauce dipped, tex-mex options in very large portions- talk about gaining weight if you are on the dating scene. Not to mention the guy that works in a call center making 15/hr ...

In life, you have to take the pace that love goes. You don't force it. You just don't force love, you don't force falling in love, you don't force being in love - you just become. I don't know how to say that in English, but you just feel it. Juan Pablo Galavis Life is never what you expect it to be. I caught myself this week being the girl I always have been, the hopeless romantic..... Just how hopeless am I? A Walk to Remember, I cry the entire movie- not because she dies- beacause he loves her UNCONDITIONALLY. I cry so hard I get a headache. I digress.  What happened? I had a bad day and I needed a drink, an outlet of some kind. Of course on these type of days none of my friends are ever available. Usually, I just curl up, cry it out, drink wine and eat pizza.  Not this day, I went to Marianos and had a drink by myself and cried a bit lol. Drinks were good and should have been for 11buck a pop! But then, he, my prince charming came to my aid.  He had so man...