Life from my view

Habits are hard to break- aren't they? So are routines....so are traditions. It has been quite a while since I have shared any updates with via my blog. I have been living in lala land of falling in love again. With this change has come many changes from experiencing a guy who buys me flowers just cause, to him taking a vested interest in my spiritual life and why I do what I do, to him easily becoming a part of my family from Day 1. Funny what can happen when you prepare yourself to receive the blessings of God. So on to change....it is inevitable right? Yes it is. I have attended the same church since I was 8 years old. This is the church that my parents decided to join and we have made it our home. I met some of my best friends at this church, had my heartbroken, experienced triumphs, celebrated births and even came together to bury loved ones. I have had my share of both ups and downs from being a 20 year member of this church. I have been in ministry, I have experienced se...

Recently I have been on my journey of discovery and paying more attention to me, my thoughts, my actions, my likes, my strengths, areas of improvement etc. Initially after "the breakup" I noted to self that my fear of rejection led me to make some foolish decisions and in turn I became someone I did not recognize. I had always known that I suffered slightly from some sort of fear of rejection and/or abandonment- which is why it took me forever to become close with anyone intimately where they knew my good and bad. I feared that they would not like "That ME" or that they would eventually leave me. These fears of rejection and abandonment stemmed from childhood experiences where I felt like I never quite made it into fitting in... I was always too something. Too tall, too dark, too skinny, too fat, too smart, too nice---- tooo tooo tooo I never was just  right for anything. 5 years old going to gymnastics class- which I thoroughly enjoyed and had begun to excel in...

Did I hurt your feelings when I said it like that? Did I waste my time trying to keep it running like that? Now you got a lot to say Did I really mean it when I said that? Did I? Dressed up walking in a crowd but its you on my mind Thinking it could be different, but maybe we missed it. Should've been us headed to LA... we were crazy but amazing Could've been the real thing....now we will never know for sure Should've been us.... Don't settle for less or infidelity Now I done switched up on ya.... what you want from me Can't let you get one up on me Sorry you not the one ..... Don't-                                          Be Sorry Take a look at myself in the mirror thinking how did I let myself get here You drug my heart through the ground and left it all battered and bruised Done fighting this battle with you, can't keep going in circles Circles- Round ...

When Someone Shows You Who They Are.. Believe Them The First Time- Maya Angelou I took this to heart today when reflecting over my life choices and why things turned out the way they did. It was brought to my attention by my younger, middle brother that I am all too quick to cut off people. WHEN they do one thing I am like NOPE, DONE. This is a trait that I know I have and I have always viewed it as both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I cut the bull at the beginning. A curse because some people deserve another chance. It is one of those gray areas in my life that I try so hard to color in or make clear. But the real reason why that quote resonated with me is becuase there was a time in my life, these past 4 years, that I tried to not be the person who cuts others off. I tried it and it failed. This quote is true and will forever be true especially when it comes to humans. Rarely do people change to suit others. Self is always more important than others. When others tr...

In keeping with current events and our recent "Blood Moon" I wanted to write something in relation to the moon and new beginnings and my thoughts and feelings as I looked upon the full moon these past few days. Night time is magical for me- it seems I awaken!  Could just be that I am not a morning person or the fact that I nap daily- but I feel its more than that. I have always enjoyed star gazing and looking into the moon and realizing that although most feel that the day is done ; at night I am reminded and promised that a new day is on its way. Regardless of the circumstances today- tomorrow is on the horizon. Everything around us has an effect on something within us. As a woman I know that our bodies are in sync with phases of the moon in the form of our menstrual cycles- which in turn affects our ability to create new life. New life is refreshing! I have never been this excited to move before... but to think of beginning anew has been the focal point of my tho...