Life from my view

Finding yourself is a wonderful experience. Realizing who you are- it feels  like a great awakening! It  is freeing and challenging at the same time. Breaking chains or habits that have become second nature to you is not an easy feat. We all have things that we wish we could change about ourselves at some point and time. My question now is why not. Why not chase your dreams? Why not move? Why not fall in love? Why not be who you were purposed to be? In life- things get in the way- it is called life. How you deal with those distractions will determine how far along you get on this journey. It really hurt me to find out that Kehlani (one of my fav artist right now) attempted suicide. I pondered thinking WOW- what was so bad that she wanted to end it all. Here she is this gorgeous, talented, free spirit- Grammy nominated artist- girlfriend to a man worth 90mil- who is tall enough and cute enough- who displays his love for her. Why? your life seems to be what any 20 year old wou...

Recently I have been on my journey of discovery and paying more attention to me, my thoughts, my actions, my likes, my strengths, areas of improvement etc. Initially after "the breakup" I noted to self that my fear of rejection led me to make some foolish decisions and in turn I became someone I did not recognize. I had always known that I suffered slightly from some sort of fear of rejection and/or abandonment- which is why it took me forever to become close with anyone intimately where they knew my good and bad. I feared that they would not like "That ME" or that they would eventually leave me. These fears of rejection and abandonment stemmed from childhood experiences where I felt like I never quite made it into fitting in... I was always too something. Too tall, too dark, too skinny, too fat, too smart, too nice---- tooo tooo tooo I never was just  right for anything. 5 years old going to gymnastics class- which I thoroughly enjoyed and had begun to excel in...

So it is 9:38pm here in rainy Seattle. As I await my flight to DFW- I want to drop some knowledge on you. Feminism by definition is  the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.  So the portion I want to focus on is the social aspect. I could argue this from several angles inclusive of the viewa of the beyhive and our independence from men. But I am not. I want to argue this from the social aspect of our intwined dependence of each other. So being a 90's era baby I fell in love with the mantra of anything you can do I can do better!  My inner competitor showed all through elementary from spelling bees to playing football and running track. I can be faster, stronger and smarter than any boy... And I believed that with every fiber of my being and for the most part I was successful in my beating of the boys. That was until middle school- when they suddenly were taller than me and stronger than me.... My interest shifted ...

Yesterday evening, I had the priveledge of attending a tea party hosted by  a former colleague of mine. I attended of course in all my pomp and priss- nothing less expected of myself. What truly pleased me about this tea party was the affirmation I received from women of all walks all life, races and ages that were saying the exact things that I have been saying to myself through my postings. The affirmation that stood out the most was the topic of "Self Love" how they came to finally love themselves after 20, 30, 50 years and how that love of themselves and total surrender unto Christ allowed them to finally see the good in the world and in others and to finally be loved. I had a one off conversation with a young lady who would probably be 10 years my senior and to see that we are and were so alike when it comes to relationships was refreshing. She was a young, single parent who stayed in a toxic relationship for far too long and once she finally ended it- she was not look...