Life from my view

Awesome trip! I spent my weekend in LA and oh what a wonderful time I had. Port only cost like 10.00 there! I was in paradise literally- Long Beach not LA. But is it not wonderful to have friends in diff states- no hotel cost and free tour guide! OF course I went to Hollywood- I had to! Rolls Royce's and Bentley's everywhere- no wonder people dream big here- you see it on the daily basis and you want it!  I visited the LA County museum of art- some great collections- could not do it all in one day. Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles- of course I went! Now being from Dallas and all I wish the chicken tasted like Rudy's but hey everybody cannot put crack on the chicken lol. The waffle was delish though! and the gravy on the smothered chicken MANNNNNN- reminded me of Liz Thompson's pan gravy- Can I get a biscuit with that? But  expensive! They were taxing 7 bucks for french fries- where they do that at? LA apparently. So Cali is off of my vision board list and it is st...

So I am going to need to Netflix to screen these movies when they decide to show them to the world. Today, I watched 2 movies and when they ended I said WTH did I just watch? The Overnight- so I thought this was going to be a romantic comedy of sorts. Like Why did I get married- my spouse cheated- we reconciled type movie----- ohhhhh was I in for a surprise. Young couple moves to Cali, wife works and husband is a stay at home dad... sort of backwards to me, but they are looking to make new friends in this new home of theirs. Voila- a friend appears for both them and their son over a bag of gummi worms- Going great so far.  They get invited to a family dinner of pizza and wine and friends. The children automatically hit it off- best fran!! The hosting couple suggest that they put the boys to sleep their and continue their conversation- they are connecting- why not.? So Mr Jack of all trades puts the children to sleep like with piano playing, humidifiers and incense- magical...

Did I hurt your feelings when I said it like that? Did I waste my time trying to keep it running like that? Now you got a lot to say Did I really mean it when I said that? Did I? Dressed up walking in a crowd but its you on my mind Thinking it could be different, but maybe we missed it. Should've been us headed to LA... we were crazy but amazing Could've been the real thing....now we will never know for sure Should've been us.... Don't settle for less or infidelity Now I done switched up on ya.... what you want from me Can't let you get one up on me Sorry you not the one ..... Don't-                                          Be Sorry Take a look at myself in the mirror thinking how did I let myself get here You drug my heart through the ground and left it all battered and bruised Done fighting this battle with you, can't keep going in circles Circles- Round ...

So life is great.... good job, great apartment, good car, all my family, able to travel leisurely, not broke, finding myself...... but something is missing. Transparency:  I am sitting in my living room- not wanting to my watch my usual on either Netflix or Hulu. Not quite depressed but teetering this fine line of questioning all that I am. Why can I not have everything I want...why must I wait for Mr. Right? So I sound like a spoiled 3 year old... oh well, that is just where I am in life right now. Maybe it hormones or maybe its the process.  I have a bestfriend who had a baby and then got married... she seems happy... The other bestfriend has her kids to go home to and what do I have? My great job, quiet apartment and wine......but positive breeds positive right? So I shop.... I shop to fill the missing pieces of my life... clothing and shoes never worn to make me feel better. Catch me at my shoe store tomorrow off Preston... Just FYI Cannot smoke weed... yeah promis...

This last quarter of 2015 has truly been life changing for me. I am becoming the me that I imagined and worked towards for so long.  Great things are happening! 1. Update on Jenny Craig- I have lost 10lbs so far and I love my morning workouts they get me up and moving (Not a morning person) so this is a big deal. And the food is really tasty 2. Love my new apartment- hosting my first baby rats Graduation Shin-Dig on Saturday. I did not think the boy was gone graduate lol but he did it. 1 down 2 brothers to go! UT- Arlington Alum GO MAVS! 3. Resigned from DPsiE- after much deliberation within self, realized it was not for me, it was also a learning process that I had to grow through and at this time in my life it was bringing no value to life and aspirations. 4. Hit my 1 year mark with my current company and that is a big deal with me because I get tired of my jobs easily but I enjoy my work and my team. It is all in perspective- Positive breeds positive. 5. Got new pill...

Yesterday evening, I had the priveledge of attending a tea party hosted by  a former colleague of mine. I attended of course in all my pomp and priss- nothing less expected of myself. What truly pleased me about this tea party was the affirmation I received from women of all walks all life, races and ages that were saying the exact things that I have been saying to myself through my postings. The affirmation that stood out the most was the topic of "Self Love" how they came to finally love themselves after 20, 30, 50 years and how that love of themselves and total surrender unto Christ allowed them to finally see the good in the world and in others and to finally be loved. I had a one off conversation with a young lady who would probably be 10 years my senior and to see that we are and were so alike when it comes to relationships was refreshing. She was a young, single parent who stayed in a toxic relationship for far too long and once she finally ended it- she was not look...

We have the power to speak both death or life into not only ourselves but those around us.  Starting today, I am changing my vocabulary and train of thought. I will speak life into myself and those around me. I am loved, I am beautiful, I am everything and anything I choose to be. I own my future. I am tired of questioning my relationships while realizing I was in those situations due to my own lack of faith or lack of belief in something different. Complacency breeds failure. This move has made me realize that I can do whatever I put my mind to and that those who truly belong in your life will come along for the ride. Reminiscing on loves past will not allow me to move forward with anything or anyone new. Not that I want to jump right into anything but I realized that I am much happier when my focus is on self and not them. Yes, learn from all things gone wrong in the past... but also reflect on what went right. Who have you become? Did the situation change you for the better? H...