Life from my view

Change is inevitable. Change is hard. Change is necessary. In order to grow there are some changes that go on... some are subtle others are drastic! This past year has been trans-formative for me. Letting go of some things and some people that I thought would be in my life for good. But this particular post is not about those people or the situations that led to them being banned from my life. This post is about me realizing that I grew. Growing is a funny thing in both the natural and spiritual realms. When you are younger you do not realize when the growth spurt happens until you try on your favorite pants or shirt and it doesn't quite fit anymore. Same in the spiritual- you do not know until you have to try a situation on. So my growth occurred in the area that I thought I was weak in. I have always been the type to allow 2nd and 3rd chances and allowed people to linger on a lot longer than they should have. Thinking on it, these same people are the ones who have an ex...

I feel like the past two weeks I have been in the twilight zone or some form of a purgatory if it really existed. I have been viewing my own life as an outsider- seeing myself in another light not filtered through Juno (my favorite IG filter lol) Come With Me (Hail Mary) lol and see a day in the life of me and my thoughts and my reality I love song references- I swear I can have a conversation in song- every three words remind me of a song... (my randomness) Grandparents- I love mine and my grandmother has both dementia and Alzheimer's- it hurts- she will one day leave me and I have to come to that slowly as her mind and spirit drift away. So lively she was always banging pots or at the mall shopping for us. Now her days waste away with her trying to remember what she thought she forgot to remember- but it is called life and each time I see her I am reminded of how short and brief it is. Married, children, homes, cars, accounts, church, friends, money, fun- what is it to her ...

So here we are May 3, 2016 and it dawns on me. The day. We also have Facebook to thank us for our ever so fond greatest memories, moments and post "On This Day" a lifetime ago. So I admit- I thought about him today- why is the date forever etched in my mind... hopefully in 2 years time it won't be but for the moment it is. The day he sat in my room and asked if I was ready to embark on this unknown journey of us and I said yes. Well here we are a WHOLE year later and things are not quite what I imagined they would be. And that is OK. However I did want to share some of my past FB post that spurred me to say that May 3, 2016 will be different from my other May 3rd's. So let's take a journey.... May 3, 2011 "I am giving up on dating... its too stressful and cost too much I would rather go work out and that's not fun" Today: I went for a 3 mile run that I thoroughly enjoyed- changed, but I have given up on dating due to the same reasoning men...

She told me something was missing. Not a spark or a twinkle Not a light or a star Not a fire or an ember My magic was missing. The very thing that allowed me to create the me I wanted to be, had long gone missing He took it, I said, and I want it back! I want it all back. Slowly she felt it returning- but she had to figure how to use it again. Never again would she let someone steal her magic. Never again would she freely give of her magic. Never again would she take for granted the magic that was given to her as her prized possession. And when she said it- she felt it- the magic she once knew had returned and oh how it had grew. It was undeniable, unimaginable- she realized that the magic was her, she had never left- she had only forgotten due to his curse. She realized what she had forgotten; she had placed her magic safely on a shelf far, far away from what she called her heart. Hidden from all others, even herself- because she was too weak to control it ...

So do not judge me this go around... but my choice in music is sort of a good indicator of where I am in life attitude wise and this playlist will probably make you believe that I am a 15 year old girl obsessed with Pop culture lol but hey I am in a good place right now lol Side Note: Still listen to my classical music every night... so there I am still a grown up  Heartbreaker: Justin Bieber Work From Home: 5th Harmony Wild Things: Alessia Carr No: Meagan Trainor Work: Rihanna Collide: Justine Skye Captivated: Lawrence Flowers Brand New Me: Alicia Keys Emotion: Destiny's Child Let It Go: Chonique Sneed Exchange: Bryson Tiller All That Matters: Justin Bieber Show Me Your Face: William McDowell Cut It: O.T Genasis Indigo: Sammie At Your Name: Phil Wickman You Need Me: Jacques Picture Me Rollin: Chris Brown Formation:Beyonce Hollow: Tori Kelly Love Again: Ethan Farmer Understanding: Xscape Runnin: Kehlani Say It: Tori Lanez Burnin UP: Jessie J Mind over ...

Finding yourself is a wonderful experience. Realizing who you are- it feels  like a great awakening! It  is freeing and challenging at the same time. Breaking chains or habits that have become second nature to you is not an easy feat. We all have things that we wish we could change about ourselves at some point and time. My question now is why not. Why not chase your dreams? Why not move? Why not fall in love? Why not be who you were purposed to be? In life- things get in the way- it is called life. How you deal with those distractions will determine how far along you get on this journey. It really hurt me to find out that Kehlani (one of my fav artist right now) attempted suicide. I pondered thinking WOW- what was so bad that she wanted to end it all. Here she is this gorgeous, talented, free spirit- Grammy nominated artist- girlfriend to a man worth 90mil- who is tall enough and cute enough- who displays his love for her. Why? your life seems to be what any 20 year old wou...

So I am up doing some grass roots research into pursuing some passions of mine... hair and fashion.  While texting a guy who is interested in me. And it hit me. I am ready to date again! Finally. Lordt I thought I was going to be stuck in that negative stage forever! By the way the title of this post is inspired by a podcast that I listened to- that helped get me through entitled: Single But READY.. check it out it is eye opening. So if you read some of my post from the August/September period you will note the harping of the breakup and my efforts to rebound date. Well I never wrote about my perspective of trying to rebound date. Let us just say it was horrible. I truly do not recommend trying to rebound date, while being celibate and on the tail ends of a heartbreak... Nothing good comes from Nazareth right? HA.. ok. Basically as I sat here thinking back to that time period I was sooo negative. Negative Nancy welcome to the party. These guys were showing genuine interest in m...